Dear darling Daddy, I love you

And

I see the way you flinch

The way you can not

Stand

It

I see how you squirm and you want to make it

STOP

Right now. Immediately. It has to

END

 

Dear darling Daddy, I love you

And I see how you can not

Bear this

It haunts

And it haunts

And it haunts you

And it bites at you so quick

You barely seem to recognise

How it rattles you

Deep, deep within

 

But darling dearest Daddy, I do

I do and I need you

I need you to see this, I need you to hear

This

I need you to hold

This

In all it’s echoes

In every way it courses your cells

To want it to stop

NOW

In every memory long forgotten

 

I need you

I implore YOU

To witness my

SCREAM

It is, dear Daddy, my NO!

It is my expression

It speaks in the moments when I

Have reached my limit

It shrieks

I’VE HAD ENOUGH

It is my ROAR, my Fierce

It is my Wild

And you, darling Daddy, need to step

Up

 

For

My voice, my resistance,

Like oxygen,

Began in a long line

Before me

You could say, dear Daddy

It is in my blood

My bones. My DNA

My scream is The Scream

Of my mother, grandmother and of

All those that came before when

Each and every one of them

Had reached their

Limit

Had reach their

ENOUGH!

And had, like you try so earnestly to do,

Been forced to

SHUT UP

 

Daddy, darling, can you do it?

Can you look within?

Can you see your father, his father and his father’s father too,

Their inheritance, just as yours

Each prickled and struggling to withstand

And instead, collecting the easier path

To ignore, silence, deny, shut the fuck up

My mother’s, her mother’s and her mother’s mothers too

Howl, weep, scream and cry.

 

Daddy

Do this for me.

Look inside.

Look hard

And whilst holding the fear

Hold me whilst I’m here

Whilst I need to tell the Whole

Wide

World to GO AWAY

Fuck OFF

NO more

And

ENOUGH

Stand by my side and

Say

I choose no more to invalidate

Say

I hear and will hold you

Here,

Darling One

Say

This time, I choose to not run

 

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